Glitter

I can hear the music from down the street, where Mum has dropped me off. The thumping of the beat matches the thumping of my heart. I am nervous.

I don’t do parties.

But in the spirit of you only live once, and with a push and a shove from a few friends, here I am, walking towards the house. The front is decorated with a big sign that says: ‘PARTY IN BACKYARD, USE BACK DOOR’, well great, for some reason that makes my skin crawl. 

Before pushing the back gate open, I repeat in my head drink first, dance later, drink first, dance later like a mantra just to keep me sane. With a big breath and a fake smile, I walk into the carnage of a 19th birthday party. 

In the search for my friends on the dance floor, I see her. It’s like a scene out of a movie. Time has stopped. I have to know who they are. They dance with such freedom and grace. Without a care in the world. 

But first liquid courage, drink first, dance later…Once the buzz of my tequila and lemonade takes its effect, I give in to the encouragement from my friends to at least introduce myself. I make my way over. 

The minute we make eye contact she smiles. I am hooked before I even know her name. It is beautiful but let’s call her ‘Glitter’ to match her eyeshadow. 

The whole night, we talk, dance, flirt and just really enjoy each other’s company. Maybe I do like parties if it means I get to meet a sweet girl. 

As the night dies down, like all things this comes to an end, and it is my time to go home. Mum being the designated driver for the night, waits at the same spot she dropped me off. 

My heart starts to thump. Will I ever get to see ‘Glitter’ again? When we say our goodbyes, I feel my heart sink. I know that once I get into the car I won’t have the confidence and security within myself to tell my mum about this amazing girl I have just met. 

Walking to the car I can feel the night slip away from me. Swallowing the lump that’s formed in my throat and plastering on a fake smile, I open the door. 

But then I wake up, in my bed the sun shining through my window. The pit is still in my stomach, my mind is telling me something, and my dreams are telling me something. ‘Glitter’ is all but a dream. 

I make a choice that morning: I will be truthful to myself and to the world because of that girl from my dreams.

I see her everywhere, like glitter she is stuck with me forever.