Author: Girish Gupta
Featured image by Jen Theodore, courtesy of Unsplash
CW: this poem includes references to self-harm and suicide.
I see these walls burn,
as the heat scorches through my skin
and I wonder to myself,
is this the hottest it could have been?
A flame catches in my sleeve
as I scream and scream and scream
A glass shatters on the floor,
all the pain turns me green
I can feel the loss of breath
as I starve to survive
I remember all my laughter
but pain has been my life
I remember the days I’d fly
high above the ground
They’d look at me and wonder,
who is that so proud?
And I feel me lose myself
as I dwell on fears and worries
But what really slows me down
are all these worldly hurries
I ponder and decide
to put the fire out
despite the scars it’s given me
Indeed, my scars are loud
And I inhale and gulp the heat
as I stand here, just me
Without bells or whistles or glitter
this is the prettiest I can be
I know just in this moment
why I gave up the chance to fly
And I know how to just walk past
all the times I’m asked ‘why?’
I’ve just got to be me,
that is my deepest desire
Yet the lack of this is why
I have lit my house on fire.
Leave a Reply